iMarriage - Part 3

IT TAKES 3

The key and goal is to empty the expectation box.

What do you do with all this stuff in the desire box?

Options for dealing with unsatisfied desires:
    *Ignore them
    *Stay bus
    *Find someone else

In the same way, you who are younger must accept the authority of the elders. And all of you, dress yourselves in humility as you relate to one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”  1 Peter 5:5 NLT

Biblical humility = freely choosing to put your deal ahead of my deal

Grace = God given power to do what you need to do.                 

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.  1 Peter 5:6 NLT

Declare your dependence and announce your obedience.

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.  1 Peter 5:7 NLT

"Is this important to you?  Well then, it's important to me."

"The box talk."

Confess
    -Take responsibility for turning your desires into expectations.    

Ask
    -Where do you feel pressure to live up to my expectations?
    -What can I do to make our marriage more fulfilling?

Reward
    -What's rewarded is repeated.
    -He/she will know how important it is to you.

Great marriages are not about two big "I's."  It is about us.

iMarriage - Part 2

PUTING YOUR "I" OUT

When desires are translated into expectations we create a debt/debtor relationship.

What does your spouse owe you?    Nothing!

How do you keep the expectation box empty?

Don't throw Bible darts.

The answer to the "I" marriage is that you invite in a third party.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Ephesians 5:21 NLT

Christian marriage is a submission competition.

Do you know what reverence means?

GOD-Put her first because I put You first.

This is a debt-free relationship.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  Ephesians 5:22 NLT

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.  Ephesians 5:25 NLT

Why did God design marriage like that?

It's no longer an "I will if you will."

Christian marriage is where "I" gets replaced with a "J."

Maintain a perspective of "you don't owe me anything."

What do you call it when you try to control somebody's behavior?

What you choose to do with your freedom is between you and God.

There are no guarantees.

This is your only hope for God to invade the relationship and bring about change.

What do I do with my desires?

This isn't simple, isn't easy, this is God's design.

iMarriage - Part 1

KEEPING MY "I" ON YOU

We don't want to work on it, we just want it to work.

Once the big "I's" collide there are just a few options:
    *leave
    *conquer
    *conform
    *compromise

Marriage moves from covenant mode to contract mode.

When desires are translated into expectations we create a debt/debtor relationship.

Behind these expectations are legitimate, God-given desires...

To be:
    respected         understood
    cherished         appreciated      
    accepted         desired
    loved             listened to
    taken care of

How do we know when we have shifted from desires to expectations?
    *expressions of gratitude        
     *acts of service

Marriage is characterized by mutual care and submission, no longer male domination.

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.   Ephesians 5:21 NLT

Christian marriage is a submission competition.

HOMEWORK:
What does your spouse owe you?

Brand New - Part 5

REDEFINING TERMS

* Structure - The church is a body, it is not a kingdom.

All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.  1 Corinthians 12:27 NLT

Temple model = consume
Jesus model = engage

* Authority is to be exercised for the benefit of the led, not the leaders.

You know that the rulers in this world lord it over their people, and officials flaunt their authority over those under them.   Matthew 20:25 NLT

But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.  And whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave.  Matthew 20:26-27 NLT

I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master.   John 13:15-16 NLT

* Marriage is characterized by mutual care and submission, no longer male domination.

Jesus’ disciples then said to him, “If this is the case, it is better not to marry!”   Matthew 19:10 NLT

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Ephesians 5:21 NLT

Christian marriage is a submission competition.

* Spirituality is determined by how well one loves, not how much one person knows.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.   Galatians 5:22-23 NLT

* Holiness is about being a part of rather than setting oneself apart from.

So the Word became human and made his home among us.   John 1:14 NLT

Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations.  And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.  Matthew 28:19-20 NLT

Holy people have dirty hands

Dirty is the new Holy

Never confuse giftedness with holiness.

What does love require of me?

Brand New - Part 4

What Love Requires

If you ever felt guiltier about missing church than mistreating someone at work...

If you've ever sat around trying to figure out how close you could get to sin without actually sinning...

If you believe there's some ritual that makes you right with God and removes your responsibility to make restitution to someone you've harmed...

The Temple Model - you centered

Temple thinking always gravitates toward rules and rituals.

What exactly must I do to make things right and keep things right between God and me?

The Jesus model is centered on you, beside you.

This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.  John 15:12 NLT

Do you know why you should... 
    *tell the truth?
    *be generous?

Do you know why you shouldn't...
    *talk badly about someone
    *pressure your girlfriend sexually

The New Testament Imperatives are examples of how to demonstrate your love for God by loving others.

The Jesus model is less complicated, but it is far more demanding.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.  Philippians 2:5 NIV

But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate.  Luke 6:27,36 NLT

What does love require of me?

Matthew 25:31-40 (see screen)

Your devotion to God is illustrated, demonstrated and authenticated by your love for others.

Whatever you do, for one of them, it's like you're doing it for me.

Brand New - Part 3

RECYCLED

Our consciences determine religious realities whether they reflect reality or not.

What is important is faith expressing itself in love.  Gal. 5:6 NLT

Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.  1 Cor. 6:19-20 NLT

Things got off to an extraordinary start!

AD 70 the Jewish temple was destroyed

"In this sign, conquer."

The Holy Roman Empire

Christianity went from being a persecuted minority to an empowered majority.

Arian controversy - begotten

"I hereby make a public order, that if someone should be discovered to have hidden a writing composed by Arius, and not have immediately brought it forward and destroyed it by fire, his penalty shall be death." Emperor Constantine

Sacred men became the gatekeepers of heaven and hell.

1517 -  Reformation

Martin Luther was excommunicated

"Sola fida"

"Sola Scriptura"

"A man, a simple layman, armed with scripture is greater than the mightiest pope without it." Martin Luther

Love lost

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.  Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.  John 13:34-35 NLT

You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.   1 Peter 1:22 NLT

There is a little temple model in all of us.

Jesus died for you.

What is God's love for us and for those around us began to inform our consciences and shape our behaviors?

Brand New - Part 2

APOPLECTIC

The Temple Model:
*was built around a standard that only the elite could meet
*required followers to come there to make peace with God
*were nation specific

Our consciences determine religious realities whether they reflect reality or not.

They attempted to assimilate the Jesus model into the temple model.

Judaizers - Jewish Christians who believed gentiles must convert to Judaism to join the Jesus movement.

Apoplectic - a"pop"lectic

The message of Jesus would be deluded, denuded & polluted.

So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law. Listen! I, Paul, tell you this: If you are counting on circumcision to make you right with God, then Christ will be of no benefit to you.  I’ll say it again. If you are trying to find favor with God by being circumcised, you must obey every regulation in the whole law of Moses.  For if you are trying to make yourselves right with God by keeping the law, you have been cut off from Christ! You have fallen away from God’s grace.  Gal. 5:1-4 NLT

For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, there is no benefit in being circumcised or being uncircumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love.  Gal. 5:6 NLT

You were running the race so well. Who has held you back from following the truth?  It certainly isn’t God, for he is the one who called you to freedom.  This false teaching is like a little yeast that spreads through the whole batch of dough!  Gal. 5:7-9 NLT

It only takes a small does of the wrong thing to corrupt the whole thing.

I just wish that those troublemakers who want to mutilate you by circumcision would mutilate themselves.  Gal. 5:12 NLT

Paul knew that:
    -leaders would become self-righteous
    -followers would become hypocrites
    -the text would become manipulated
    -people would be mistreated

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. Gal. 5:13 NLT

For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”  Gal. 5:14 NLT

Brand New - Part 1

We still hold onto things that hold us back.

Most of the things you resist about church are the things the church should also resist.

The Church = a community of people following the teaching of a man sent from God, to explain God and to clear the path to God.

Three Applications:
    1. Love God
    2. Love one another
    3. Love your enemy

Who doesn't want their life to be better and who doesn't wanna be better at life?

Temple Model:
*sacred place     
*sacred texts
*sacred men  
*sincere followers

Temple Model grants extraordinary power to sacred men, in sacred places who determine the meaning of sacred texts.

The arrival of Jesus signaled the end of the Temple Model and the beginning of something entirely new.

Jesus predicted a newmovement.

Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means ‘rock’), and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.  Matthew 16:18 NLT

Ecclesia = gathering, assembly

Jesus instituted a new covenant.

After supper he took another cup of wine and said, “This cup is the new covenant between God and his people—an agreement confirmed with my blood, which is poured out as a sacrifice for you.  Luke 22:20 NLT

Jesus gave new meaning to the sacred text.

“Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose.  Matthew 5:17 NLT

Jesus gave new movement defining ethic.

Now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.   Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”  John 13:34-35 NLT

Jesus gave new meaning to passover.

He took some bread and gave thanks to God for it. Then he broke it in pieces and gave it to the disciples, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.”  Luke 22:19 NLT